How to Overcome Your Insecurities and Live the Life of Your Dreams

Sweater & Necklace: Goodwill

I’m in love with my life.  My goals are huge and I’m at a fraction of where I want to end up- but almost daily- I stop and consider how grateful I am to enjoy a life where I am able to create for a living while having the freedom to spend time helping  others,  surrounded by an incredible group of driven and talented individuals.  One of the biggest goals in my own life is to inspire and help others to achieve their own potential, so I thought I would share my top three tips on how you can move past failure and anxiety and step into your own dreams.  I love these because they are simple- yet easy to actually apply.  Of course there are specific actions I take to create my life- but these points  are the breath and the heartbeat that keeps it all moving along.

1)      Be INTERESTED- the best way to get out of your head is to become interested in the people and environment around you.  I find that any time I’m feeling insecure, anxious or introverted-  I can quickly turn this around by putting my attention outward to the people and things around me.  This is the best way to succeed in social settings-  don’t even worry about what you need to say, be or do- just get interested in the people around you and develop a genuine curiosity for their passions, interests and endeavors and you will find that the conversation goes great.  I do this all the time on sets or auditions- it can be  nerve wracking meeting new people all the time, having  people look at you (such as on sets or during modeling gigs)  or feeling like you have to be “On.” So when I find myself getting bored or anxious- I start to look at my surroundings and intentionally notice things- I do this over and over until I start to feel relaxed. It’s magical!

2)      CREATE!  I was at a seminar recently where the speaker said something that really stuck with me- he said, “imagine how life would be if you filled your time with intentional actions that moved you in the direction of your dreams- instead of all of the distractions you use to alleviate your boredom.  The truth is- that you are only bored because you are not moving in the direction of your dreams.”  This was a game changer for me.  I’ve always considered that there are two types of people in the world- the consumers and the creators. We spend so much time engaged in consuming content created by others, meandering through the internet spectating  and comparing our lives to the lives of others- but imagine how different life would be if we were fully consumed in the creation of our own goals and passions.  There would not be time for boredom, dissatisfaction or mindless comparison to the illusion of life created by others through social media.  We would just be living in our own purpose and enjoying the fruits of our own production and creativity. Nothing stays the same,  on a scientific level- the universe is constantly falling apart.  Even stars eventually supernova and die, nothing lasts forever- but creativity- will always push you one step into the future,  saving your from the inevitable loss and decay of the world around you.  When you create furiously, you don’t have to hang on desperately to things that have been  lost- because you are actively creating new things for yourself and others to enjoy and experience.

3)      LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO PURSUE YOUR OWN GREATNESS.  One of my best friends in the world- super talented photographer Chris Daniels has the best explanation for Self Love: Self Love is the intense and expansive way that you would love and honor your best most precious friends-  you would love them beyond their flaws and you would forgive the unchangeable things that don’t matter- but you would love them enough to want to see them experience the height of their own potential.  We should all love ourselves like that- to have the discipline and care to push ourselves towards the potential we know is inside of us.  Love ourselves enough to experience periods of discomfort in the pursuit of personal growth.   For me that means constantly writing down my goals so I can stay focused, it means caring for my body and keeping it free of drugs, excess alcohol and processed foods so I can maintain the energy levels needed to pursue my purpose and help others.  It means deleting Netflix from time to time so I am spending more time creating and less time consuming.  It means having the self belief and self respect- to keep going, even when I experience barriers or failure.  It means trading in “leisure time” for hard work and activities which will forward and enhance my survival and the survival of those around me.   I have a saying: the way you feel about yourself when you are at your very best- this is the truth of who you are- any and all self doubt is simply regurgitated invalidation from others or lies contained in the portion of your mind which is not rational.  Remember the decisions you made when you felt most alive, remember all of things which you believed you were capable of then.  These things are the truth. The trick is to ignore all destructive thought and to move forward.  If you get off track- don’t beat yourself up- simply put back in the actions that were helping you to win.  Love yourself enough to keep going.

My wish for you is that you are so freaking exhilarated by how alive you feel that it’s potentially too much for the world to handle.   I find that the above three things are the secrets to my own success in this direction.  I hope they help you light your own fire and pursue your own unique potential at a high roar.

Photo: Chris Daniels

 

Elisabeth Donaldson is an Actress, Model and Professional Creative living in Nashville, TN.